I'm feeling...stretched.  Not busy or stressed, not being pulled in two different directions based on a decision I have to make.  I just feel it.  For some reason, the past still haunts me.  I say for some reason, although I know exactly what that reason is.  The Enemy, ruler of this world, loves to remind us of the us we used to be.  Even more so, loves to remind me how easily I slipped into that version of me.  And thats where he can get me every time.  Any reminder, no matter how small, sends my mind into a whirlwind of questions;  who am I?  who was I?  why am I?  who should I be?  Endless questions.  And of course, instead of immediately going to God's Word for answers to those questions, I prefer to chew on them a while.  I wait until they taste disscusting and I can't stand the process anymore and then, THEN I seek Him. 
So my quest now is to find my spiritual gift.  Sounds hokey, right? 
I certainly don't feel gifted.  I don't feel like I deserve any gifts, don't feel like I have any.  But, according to this new, really really big book steven bought, ALL believers in Christ have at least one spiritual gift given to them by the Holy Spirit in order to accomplish His work in their lives.  (the book, Systematic Theology) 
Soooooooooo

I can cross a few off the list.

Definitely NOT speaking in tongues.  Lord knows, I speak enough in my own language, and without God's approval most of the time.  No other languages need to be exposed to the sound of my voice.
Pretty sure its NOT healing or miracles.  Why do I know this?  Easy.  Im vain.  The second I healed someone of an illness or turned water into wine, the entire world would know and my head would be as big as my minivan.  That, and I would probably become an alcoholic.  Neither one would be good.
And from what I know about my lack of patience, Im tend to think it would not be the gift of teaching.  There are times, with my own children, when the ask me a question, the thought that comes to my mind is "do you seriously not know the answer to that?"  Now, I don't actually say that to them, but I think it.  That doesn't seem very Holy Spirit like, right?
So that leaves prophesy, edification and discernment.

Maybe its discernment, since I have clearly discerned that four of the seven are no goes for me?

All this time Ive been questioning my spiritual gift status and all I had to do was blog about it.  Awesome.

United States Air Force Academy

The superintendent of the

United States Air Force Academy

announces that

Faith Lois Sanders-Walker

of the Class of 2011

is a candidate for the degree of 

Bachelor of Science in Foreign Area Studies

with a minor in German

and a commission as a 

Second Lieutenant

in the 

United States Air Force

Wednesday, May 25th

United States Air Force Academy, Colorado.

Is that not just the coolest thing?  My sweet niece is graduating and this is how the announcement read.  I got all teary eyed and proud!  

God bless all of our military personnel, including my sweet niece Faithee pie.

Experiencing new things?

My son put his head in the toilet.


What am I supposed to say about that?

pics of the birthday party

Sarah and John Abraham had a joint birthday party this year, and of course, I forgot my camera.  Luckily, a sweet friend took some pics for me.  My little man LOVES batman!

I feel bad because I didn't get a pic of Sarah blowing out her candles.  The cup cakes were from her cup cake tower, shown below.  And as you can see from Madelyn's face... delicious!

Only me

Somehow, I just signed up to follow my own blog. 

Ahh, the idiocy of me.

Whatever

not a mama's boy anymore

Im frowning right now.  Actually, its not a frown, its a sad face...pouty lips, furrowed brow.  Sappy, sappy, sappy.  Today, after I buckled John Abraham up in his seat after picking him up from pre-school, I asked him for a kiss, just like I do every time I pick him up.  His response, "no".  In his cutest of all voices ever to hit my ears, he responded "no mama, I don wan to kissie kissie you today."

This   is   not   happening.

Two nights ago as we were getting ready for our family worship time, John was sitting in my lap.  When Steven sat down, he bolted from my lap and sat in Steven's.  I felt the twinge then.  The sting.  The jealousy. 

I know this is normal.  This is a good thing.  It is healthy for his development.   It's the way it should be.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH   HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE that my boy is in love with his daddy.  I want my boy to be a boy.  I want him to be strong like Steven.  To be a leader.   I just didn't expect him to leap from my skirt hem to be Steven's wing man so soon.  I am having to fight the urge to force my love and kissie kissies on him.  All I could think about today was wanting to hold him and coddle him and make baby talk to him.  (Steven will make a sickened face when he reads that line no doubt).  But I am going to resist.  Im going to try and find some good wholesome advice for mothers in my situation. Surely James Dobson has written something about people like me.  Maybe that will relieve my woes and make me feel a little better.

If it doesn't, I am going to snatch him from his bed in his sleep and hold him all night.  And while he is sleeping, I can give him kissie kissies galore.

God help me.

New house!

We bought a new house!  We will close at the end of May and will be moving in sometime in mid June.  Im so excited.  And I just can't hide it. 
Lame, I know.
But I really am giddy about the whole thing.  God really helped us find the perfect fit for our family, and everything so far has gone very smoothly.  THANK YOU LORD!  Steven is excited that we are only painting one room in the house.  I am excited that I get a nice big kitchen to cook in.  The kids are excited that they get their own rooms.  Well, Sarah is anyway.  Madelyn is a bit sad at the thought of sleeping in a room alone.  But hers is the room we are painting, so Im hoping that the pink explosion Im planning for her bedroom will be enough to distract her from tears.  We will be minutes from the Galleria, the kids school, and three of our favorite restaurants (seafood, bbq and mexican)  Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm. 

What was I saying about cooking in a new big kitchen?  Jubilee Joes is already calling my name. :)