Uncharted waters

I knew the time would come when one of my kids would ask me about something, some crazy subject that I wasn't quite comfortable talking about with them.  I assumed that it would be no problem and that I would handle it gracefully and with ease. 
I was wrong. 
I haven't quite found the grace to handle the discussions I am being forced to have with Sarah.  Im putting them off completely until I do.  This is probably a mistake, but they are serious topics and I don't want to mess with her mind any more than is necessary.  And since, it seems to me, "things" always happen in threes, Im waiting on the third bomb shell to come out of her mouth so that I can tackle all of them at once.  Again, probably a mistake.  I know God will give me the perfect opportunity and words, Im just a little ticked that as a parent, I can't wait until a time that I feel it appropriate to talk to my child about certain issues, I am forced by the check out lane at the grocery store.  I feel like my rights are being violated.  My little girl is being forced to grow up just by helping me put our groceries on the conveyer belt.  I want to scream and cuss and throw something!  But that would be counterproductive, so I won't.  Pray for me people.

Hot button #1.... Sarah, in the grocery store..." Mom, what does gay mean?  Nevermind, I know what it means.  Someone at school told me.  Its no bid deal.  You don't have to talk to me about it."
---- Serisouly, she said it just like that, almost like it was one long breath, one long sentence.  She wanted me to tell her, but she knew it was going to be a discussion and she recanted her request before I could manage to comment.  I was flabergasted.  Speechless, for once.
 "Who told you what it means?"  Sarah "A boy in my class".  How comforting.  A boy...  Boys...  BOYS?!?!?!?!

My mind fried in that very moment.  Now Im thinking, why is my sweet girl having such conversations with boys?  Which boy?  What EXACTLY did he say, what were the other kids saying?  Forget that I have to explain to her about homosexuality, she's talking to boys!  I need a pill or something.

Button #2... Sarah - "Mom, my friend hurt herself on the playground today." 
"Oh thats bad Sarah, what happened?" 
"She was pole dancing and she hurt herself.  She said its because she didn't have her pole dancing clothes on like she has at home."


We have officially lost cabin pressure.