Im frowning right now. Actually, its not a frown, its a sad face...pouty lips, furrowed brow. Sappy, sappy, sappy. Today, after I buckled John Abraham up in his seat after picking him up from pre-school, I asked him for a kiss, just like I do every time I pick him up. His response, "no". In his cutest of all voices ever to hit my ears, he responded "no mama, I don wan to kissie kissie you today."
This is not happening.
Two nights ago as we were getting ready for our family worship time, John was sitting in my lap. When Steven sat down, he bolted from my lap and sat in Steven's. I felt the twinge then. The sting. The jealousy.
I know this is normal. This is a good thing. It is healthy for his development. It's the way it should be.
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE that my boy is in love with his daddy. I want my boy to be a boy. I want him to be strong like Steven. To be a leader. I just didn't expect him to leap from my skirt hem to be Steven's wing man so soon. I am having to fight the urge to force my love and kissie kissies on him. All I could think about today was wanting to hold him and coddle him and make baby talk to him. (Steven will make a sickened face when he reads that line no doubt). But I am going to resist. Im going to try and find some good wholesome advice for mothers in my situation. Surely James Dobson has written something about people like me. Maybe that will relieve my woes and make me feel a little better.
If it doesn't, I am going to snatch him from his bed in his sleep and hold him all night. And while he is sleeping, I can give him kissie kissies galore.
God help me.
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